I swear this shirt makes my bulge look bigger. Like its great powers of badassery increased my dick size by 6 inches. But that’s not all – not by a long shot. I can now shoot a squirrel from a half-mile away, and a butterfly from a quarter-mile. Those motherf***in butterflies have always pissed me off. I can fart mustard gas on command, and I can belch the entire national anthem in one breath. I am the master of modern warfare, and all my enemies fall beneath my feet… which have also increased in size. I can now call eagles from the sky on command, and send them off to poop on anyone I point out. And in my dreams, I see a future of death, destruction, fire, and beer. So I guess everything’s going to work out just fine.
Produced & shipped from USAÂ 
Shipping Infomation
- Processing Time: It takes 1 – 3 days to ship your order from our warehouse to logistics companies.
- Shipping Time: You will receive your order from 3 – 7 business days (depends on shipping method) from the date that it is shipped out, not the date the order is placed.
- Please note:Â We process orders on business days, which are Monday – Friday, Eastern Standard Times, exluding weekends or holidays observed by the Post Office: New Year’s Day, Presidents’ Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
- Tracking Number:Â When available, we will send you a tracking number with the confirmation email so that you can track the package online.
Return & Warranty
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- If you are not happy with your purchase, we will work to correct the problems. Items can be returned/exchanged within 30 days of delivery date. (Please check our Return & Exchange Policy below).